In a just world, this article would sit in your hand as heavy as a coffee-table book.

It would be creaking with anecdotes and compliments from leviathans of Beatles-influenced bravura – all raising a final, frothy ‘skol!’ to one of the greatest, grooviest, most gracious rock bands to poke their hirsute jowls above the parapet in the last 20 years.

As is stands, it’s a stubby little piece – whose insulting length even this SOOL acolyte had to wrestle with ...