Thought she was a namby pamby 94% lesbian? No siree - she's the real deal; the full monty. Cut her and she'll bleed 'lesbian'.
At least, that's according to an unauthorised EXPLOSIVE BOMBSHELL BOOK (The Sun's description, not ours) on the singer - from which the paper happily pulls chunks for its big fat cover story.
(It also describes Jessie as a "secret lesbian" - which brings to mind both (i) a must-watch Channel 4 documentary brand extension, and (ii) a gay person who's particularly tight-lipped with revelations.)
Except, when you look behind the CAPITAL LETTERS and BIG RED DOTS and the word EXPLOSIVE, it's not really a particularly shocking expose. The star's openly talked about having relationships with both females and males in the past.
So why oh why oh why, The Sun ponders, would she betray her dogmatic "100% GAY" staple sexual diet in interviews and such like?
Here's where things get really interesting.
According to the tabloid, the obviously well-thought-out new biography claims: "The Voice judge, 24, was ordered to hide the truth by record bosses to avoid turning off male fans."
Yep, that's right. Because Island Records could see Jessie J was bound to chime with a massive army of red-blooded, perma-aroused testosterites. It's obviously her natural audience.
And they knew - the clever, clever swines - that when these knuckle-draggers swarmed towards their attractive young starlet, they would be turned off by the idea of her being a lesbian.
Turned OFF by it.
In other Sun news, Simon Cowell is not gay.